Well everyone I guess it's time I post my second blog.
were going to look at each series and try to determine the keys to success
San Jose vs Detroit.
San Jose -
-Will change there slogan effective immediatly to "failoffs" Because it's not choking if it's expected.
-Dan Boyle will change his last name to Smith, trying to shake off any comparisons of you know..putting the puck into the net (side notes, the McCabe and Phillips are still in use)
-Thorton will have a multiple chats with Marleau, telling him several times " If you don't play well, do you REALLY want to play with Wilson again".
-Training staff will have to make sure Nabakov doesn't want to play with that red jersey...what was that again, team Russia?
Detroit
- Chris Chelios will report to the practice squad, for the purpose of putting his choking spell on San Jose, rumor has it he learned that during his first Stint with Detroit in 2454 BC.
- Abdelkater will try to fight Ryan Clowe to motivate his team, only to be knocked out, pulled up and knocked out again. We call this move....the Colton Orr on Matt Carkner.
- The Red Wings will try to injure any European forwards on San Jose, trying to eliminate there soul weakness, Defenceman to European tip in play.
Chicago vs Vancouver
Chicago
- Chicago hires Eddie the Eagle for the second round as a goalie coach, to teach goalies the "Quickly exit the ice after an over time loss" technique
-Andrew Ladd pretends everyone on Vancouver calls him gutless, then proceeds to Mangle their faces, except Burrows, who lands on his back before Ladd lands a punch
-Campbell asks for the boards to be padded, and to have a mirror on his helmet so he can check behind him for Ovechkin.
-Kane buys a taxi company and declares the slogan- " Gloves off for low prices"
Vancouver
- Before the first round, hire Stephan Auger to ref all games, claiming Chicago won't know what's coming.
- Tell Samuelson he's benched from this round, letting him go a tear for the rest of the playoffs.
-Luongo decides he's going to play referee for the game, raising his hand on every penalty they think they should have forgetting his actual job is to..you know...stop the puck.
Pittsburg vs Montreal
Pittsburg
- Sidney Crosby misses the first round due to Mario finally getting upset, forcing Sidney to move out claiming "This kid STILL can't grow a playoff beard"
-Maxim Talbot claims he's a superstar and wants to get the winning goal of a big game, haha yeah, like that's ever happend
-Mario signs Billy Volek and snickers "No one is going to stop US from repeating this year"
Montreal
- Before every home game the habs bring out the top 10 Montreal players off all time and honour them. Getting caught in the moment Guy Lafluer promptly storms off the ice and sets the dressing room on fire.
-Declaring the biggest upset since Patrick Roy not letting in 9 goals, Montreal declares it's going to celebrate it's 100th year..again....and again...and again.
- Jaroslav Halak rips his mask off and reveals that he is indeed the 1986 Patrick Roy we all thought he was.
Boston vs Philly
Boston
- Chara rips off the mask, gets super angry and declares himself the Incredible Cook. Savard then magically concusses himself and runs away.
- Tuuka Rask writes a pre game letter to JFJ and Raycroft for letting him experience this thing called a fairy tale to leafs fan, aka the playoffs. He then storms out of the office throwing water bottles on to the ice
-Mark Recchi declares, Boucher who..it's not like he's Ryan Miller or Patrick Lalime over there.
Philly
-Chris Pronger goes to the medical staff claiming he has an itch in his elbow...
-Brian Boucher actually realizes who he is, and might actually play like he did during the regular season.
-Carcillo vows that he'll calm down and not take stupid penalties again, Ray Emery looks down and laughs saying "Yeah right, and I will never push a russian trainer again"
-
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
First Blog
Well, after reading several blogs... I have decided to let my frustrations vent with about every other leaf fan in this world. I have been watching the playoffs and for about the 1467th time in my life the leafs are not in it. So for my first post I am going to attempted to list five things I have noticed in this playoffs and some how make reference to the Leafs in any way I can...this at least gives me SOME gratification of talking about the leafs, when virtually everyone in Sarnia is tired of me talking about a team that's practiced so much golf, they might actually challenge Tigers at next years Masters.
5- Brian Boucher
- I won't lie before the playoffs started, and as I picked my players for the pool I had visions of the devils dancing in the heads of Boucher, Yes this is the goalie who at one point had 5 consecutive shut outs for the Winni..err..sorry Coyotes. After what some people may consider the biggest upset of round one, what the FUCK was in Bouchers water bottle. Did he manage to contact his long lost cousin Bobby Bouche and get some good quality H20. Was he wearing a Coyotes jersey underneath? Who the fuck knows, all I know is he did more damage to my hockey pool, then Kyle Wellwood at the local all you can eat buffet. For once in my life I know what it feels like to be Daniel Alfredson because Bouche hit me harder then Mark Bell in the open ice ( Bell may or may not have been intoxicated at the time. But that's what I get for picking devils players, maybe I should join Bell, I am sure he's in a bar somewhere.
4- Ottawa Senators.
- I could write page upon page about why having them eliminated from the playoffs just about makes everything right this post season. But I need to sleep, eat and actually have a life. This post season I heard something that I thought never existed, and that's Scotia Bank Center actually..cheering.....for Alfredson. As a hardcore leaf fan, who's been to Ottawa I had to check his last name, I occasionally may have thought his name was "Boooooooo". Chants of Alfie Alfie Alfie made me about as sick as when McCabe puts the puck in his own net.
3- Phoenix Coyotes
- I may get some criticism for this, but honestly I can't stand the coyotes. Yes I have Coyotes in my hockey pool but that's because eventually Detroit has to loose a first round and Chelios doesn't have his ancient body putting a curse on the other teams. The main fact of why I hate the "Yotes" are because all the fans down there are bandwagon jumpers, kind of like Ottawa fans...but we won't get into that, the mighty spartan might hunt me down. Must be nice to have the lowest attending average in the league and go on miracle run, which this team has been known to do on occassion, and it's more rockin then Shane Obrien at a bar the night before a big game. If for some reason this team builds what is commonly known around a sports team as a "fan base" Gary Bettman looks good, and the team might end up staying there two double negatives the definitely don't equal a positive .
2- Drew Doughty
-Has any rookie came in and made an impact as big as this young man (and no Kyle Wellwood we don't mean your type of big), I know, I know were all thinking the same thing, he's no Cory Cross. But personally I have not seen someone this young come in and play argueable the hardest position post lock out, well not unless you count this whole Auger thing and picking vendettas against certain diver...err I mean Canuck players. His vision is amazing, I believe they call it the Anti-Kerry Fraser... his skating is like no other (which means Ulf Samuelson MAY be gunning for his knees) and the composure this young man shows is amazing ( not like toskala on a 186 foot shot.) If he doesn't win the Norris trophey that's highway robbery, or atleast a Mikael Samuelson Sweedish Olympic snub
1- Wayne Crosby err I mean Sid Crosby
- Alright first thing is first, I hate him, I absolutely hate him. I have to give credit where credit is due, and it seems living in Marios basement playing spin the bottle with Malkin has it's advantages. Crosby dominated the series against the Senators ( where have I heard that before...maybe starting with CUJO ending with Eddie) with out a doubt and that's pretty good news since I selected him fourth overall in my pool (thanks ryan). He's had a pretty good year in all, you know winning..what's that title..OH the Rocket Richard (co- with Steven "Melrose didn't think I was good enough Stamkos") I believe he may have won the gold medal or something like that, and if I want to dig back far enough he might have that big shiny ring calling him a champion or some crazy thing. So I guess the test is to see if he can continue to produce next series, if not they may have to rely on other players, i.e. Still lost in Nashville Poni, or Evgeni don't call me Gino Malkin. Or I make Luke Schenn look like Jason Blake Bill Guerin. For my hockey pool sakes, I hope he does, and Bettmans sake, and the NHL sakes, or anyone that fears without him the game wouldn't sell. But if not I won't loose sleep...and neither will bettman, because im sure ANOTHER 5 year tank job is just around the corner for them to stock up again.
5- Brian Boucher
- I won't lie before the playoffs started, and as I picked my players for the pool I had visions of the devils dancing in the heads of Boucher, Yes this is the goalie who at one point had 5 consecutive shut outs for the Winni..err..sorry Coyotes. After what some people may consider the biggest upset of round one, what the FUCK was in Bouchers water bottle. Did he manage to contact his long lost cousin Bobby Bouche and get some good quality H20. Was he wearing a Coyotes jersey underneath? Who the fuck knows, all I know is he did more damage to my hockey pool, then Kyle Wellwood at the local all you can eat buffet. For once in my life I know what it feels like to be Daniel Alfredson because Bouche hit me harder then Mark Bell in the open ice ( Bell may or may not have been intoxicated at the time. But that's what I get for picking devils players, maybe I should join Bell, I am sure he's in a bar somewhere.
4- Ottawa Senators.
- I could write page upon page about why having them eliminated from the playoffs just about makes everything right this post season. But I need to sleep, eat and actually have a life. This post season I heard something that I thought never existed, and that's Scotia Bank Center actually..cheering.....for Alfredson. As a hardcore leaf fan, who's been to Ottawa I had to check his last name, I occasionally may have thought his name was "Boooooooo". Chants of Alfie Alfie Alfie made me about as sick as when McCabe puts the puck in his own net.
3- Phoenix Coyotes
- I may get some criticism for this, but honestly I can't stand the coyotes. Yes I have Coyotes in my hockey pool but that's because eventually Detroit has to loose a first round and Chelios doesn't have his ancient body putting a curse on the other teams. The main fact of why I hate the "Yotes" are because all the fans down there are bandwagon jumpers, kind of like Ottawa fans...but we won't get into that, the mighty spartan might hunt me down. Must be nice to have the lowest attending average in the league and go on miracle run, which this team has been known to do on occassion, and it's more rockin then Shane Obrien at a bar the night before a big game. If for some reason this team builds what is commonly known around a sports team as a "fan base" Gary Bettman looks good, and the team might end up staying there two double negatives the definitely don't equal a positive .
2- Drew Doughty
-Has any rookie came in and made an impact as big as this young man (and no Kyle Wellwood we don't mean your type of big), I know, I know were all thinking the same thing, he's no Cory Cross. But personally I have not seen someone this young come in and play argueable the hardest position post lock out, well not unless you count this whole Auger thing and picking vendettas against certain diver...err I mean Canuck players. His vision is amazing, I believe they call it the Anti-Kerry Fraser... his skating is like no other (which means Ulf Samuelson MAY be gunning for his knees) and the composure this young man shows is amazing ( not like toskala on a 186 foot shot.) If he doesn't win the Norris trophey that's highway robbery, or atleast a Mikael Samuelson Sweedish Olympic snub
1- Wayne Crosby err I mean Sid Crosby
- Alright first thing is first, I hate him, I absolutely hate him. I have to give credit where credit is due, and it seems living in Marios basement playing spin the bottle with Malkin has it's advantages. Crosby dominated the series against the Senators ( where have I heard that before...maybe starting with CUJO ending with Eddie) with out a doubt and that's pretty good news since I selected him fourth overall in my pool (thanks ryan). He's had a pretty good year in all, you know winning..what's that title..OH the Rocket Richard (co- with Steven "Melrose didn't think I was good enough Stamkos") I believe he may have won the gold medal or something like that, and if I want to dig back far enough he might have that big shiny ring calling him a champion or some crazy thing. So I guess the test is to see if he can continue to produce next series, if not they may have to rely on other players, i.e. Still lost in Nashville Poni, or Evgeni don't call me Gino Malkin. Or I make Luke Schenn look like Jason Blake Bill Guerin. For my hockey pool sakes, I hope he does, and Bettmans sake, and the NHL sakes, or anyone that fears without him the game wouldn't sell. But if not I won't loose sleep...and neither will bettman, because im sure ANOTHER 5 year tank job is just around the corner for them to stock up again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
